Loyalty - A Virture Becoming Extinct

I have been coming across numerous graphics lately with statements that shout out important messages and catch my attention as well as cause me to ponder on the subject matter for quite some time.  One of those is the one I've posted above.  "Never push a loyal person to the point where they no longer care".  Wow!  That is such a strong and quite true statement. 

What do you think about this statement?

Blessings.

Jeannette

Using our Bodies for Goodness

Hello Everyone:

Today, I simply want to share a graphic to speak for me.  There is nothing more fulfilling in life than to bless someone else with human dignity and care, and better yet, to be on the receiving end of that gracious treatment.  Yes, let's be more mindful of how we use our bodies, our voices, our ears, our hands, our minds, and our hearts.  

What a difference we can make or impact someone's day, and perhaps life, by the way we treat them.  Think on this; ponder this thought for a moment.  Have you been affected by someone in a way that has created a lasting memory in you?

May we treat others in a positive way, the way we want to be treated ourselves.  

Blessings on your day, 

Jeannette

Self Regulating - Emotional Outbursts and Other Conundrums

  

              

Have you ever been around someone who seems to be frustrated with life in general?  They get angry at the smallest issues that to others might illicit a big chuckle at themselves, with a self thought similar to “oh geez, can’t believe I did that, or that happened, or he/she said or did that!”  Instead, the angry person lashes out in a negative emotional outburst that instantly cause distress in the individual and to anyone within hearing or viewing distance.  The repercussions of such action or verbalization are an unwanted or unneeded distraction and inconvenience most individuals would rather not experience. 

I can speak directly for myself, and that it affects me from a mild to high degree, depending upon the event intensity.  The reason for various degrees is because it stems from numerous traumatic and abusive events in my life that has caused post traumatic stress syndrome effects and a more sensitive reactive emotional system.  However, in speaking with others, it is also just common sense that others do not want to be involved in someone else’s “drama” or “personal business”.  Besides, if another person’s anger at a situation is directed externally rather than internally, an innocent person becomes a target rather than a bystander.  Blaming can also occur without the toxic person taking responsibility for one’s actions.

My understanding of taking responsibility is being able to self regulate our own emotions so that we can monitor and react appropriately to all situations.  Self-regulation is defined by Daniel Goleman, author of What Makes a Leader as "the ability to control or redirect disruptive impulses and moods and the propensity to suspend judgment - think before acting."  He adds that the hallmarks of this regulation are "trustworthiness and integrity, comfort and ambiguity, and openness to change." That is to say, there are times that we will naturally be angry, sad, frustrated, elated, happy, etc.  However, there is a time and place for them all.  As the bible says in Ecclesiastes 3:1-8: New Living Translation (NLT)

A Time for Everything

¹ For everything there is a season,
a time for every activity under heaven.

² A time to be born and a time to die.

A time to plant and a time to harvest.

³ A time to kill and a time to heal.

A time to tear down and a time to build up.

⁴ A time to cry and a time to laugh.

A time to grieve and a time to dance.

⁵ A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.

A time to embrace and a time to turn away.

⁶ A time to search and a time to quit searching.

A time to keep and a time to throw away.

⁷ A time to tear and a time to mend.

A time to be quiet and a time to speak.

⁸ A time to love and a time to hate.

A time for war and a time for peace.

With that in mind, we also need to be aware of our environment and those in our presence and monitor our actions and reactions, “be in the moment”, not emotionally attack those who are truly blameless and “man up” or “woman up” as the adults we should be.  We should also teach our children from the time they are born to be respectful, loving, responsible little humans so that they will grow up to be healthy responsible adults who own up to their emotions, actions, reactions, and behaviors.  We should help them learn to regulate their emotions as their personalities are formed.  Hot tempered brats who bully, blame others, are callous, or even give hollow apologies need to be guided, directed and taught that behavior in that manner is not acceptable – period – as a child – and surely not in civil adult society. 

  

I have personally suffered through so many close relationships where I took the stand that I would suck up my own emotions of hurt, disdain, stress, nervousness, blame, mistrust, low self-esteem, low self-worth, thinking that part of the angry outburst could possibly be my fault, or just simply allowing it to continue because I didn’t want to argue about the incident to cause more emotional turmoil and “set off” the emotionally angry person any further. However, the graphic below also represents the strong and mature reason I don't argue with a person - they are just plain foolish!

I take a different approach now to conflict.  I value myself enough to protect myself from being emotionally invaded by someone else’s emotional vomiting, whether it is a small hiccup type spit or a full on gut wrenching stomach emptying of his or her negative emotions, most often inaccurately directed at me, rather than themselves.  My approach to someone's inappropriate anger varies, depending or their ability to communicate, I may:

·        Immediately remove myself from the toxic person’s presence to limit continued explosive outbursts

·        Remain in toxic person’s presence for a short time, if possible and if they have calmed down, and discuss the matter in an adult and calm manner

·        Remain in toxic person’s presence for specific time period (i.e. 5 minutes) to allow a sincere apology to occur (without me saying anything, especially prompting or asking for a response or apology)

·        Isolate myself to a peaceful place and decompress and calm down

·        Deep breathing to calm down, relax, and bring oxygen back to my body

·        Journalize, listen to music, do something enjoyable (art, Pinterest, craft)

·        Go for a pleasant drive alone

·        Visit a friend

·        Go for a swim

As I quickly approach another milestone adult birthday, I become wiser, practice lessons learned from the life university of “hard knocks”, years of counseling, wise family and friends influence, and strong Christian faith spiritual grounding.  I realize implementing many of these learned awakenings would have saved me many hardships and years of heartache and emotional pain.  Yet, I am also aware that the negative experiences have given me an opportunity to have strength and firsthand knowledge to help another woman navigate through their own life experience that may be challenging them.  I savor the positive experiences I’ve been grateful to have had and ask for God’s grace to show me ways to utilize the lessons learned through the not so positive ones.

Last thoughts. Take a deep cleansing breath and start the next moment again with a new perspective.  Thank you to our Lord Jesus Christ for his ever loving patience, compassion, guidance, and strength.  To God be the glory for his ever presence.  Last but not least, to the Holy Spirit for his prompting and reminders that help in keeping me grounded and focused on God's priorities in my life, not my own. 

Praying that you are blessed.

Jeannette

My Tribute

(To God Be the Glory)

Me - Cross behind me on wall - My Tribute and Lasting Testimony

This song has been one of my favorites since I was in my 20's.  It signifies and portrays in words what my own heart wishes to express to our Lord.  The lyrics are a type of testimony to how I like to live my life, and have been trying to live it for over 50 years.    

My Tribute

Author Artist: Andrae Crouch

 [Verse:]

How can I say thanks 

for the things You have done for me?

Things so undeserved, 

yet You gave to prove Your love for me;

the voices of a million angels

could not express my gratitude.

All that I am and ever hope to be, 

I owe it all to Thee.

[Chorus 1:]

To God be the glory,

to God be the glory,

to God be the glory 

for the things He has done.

[Chorus 2:]

With His blood He has saved me,

with His power He has raised me;

to God be the glory 

for the things He has done.

[Bridge:]

Just let me live my life,

let it pleasing, Lord to Thee,

and if I gain any praise,

let it go to Calvary.

[Chorus 2]

Additional song verse:

For thine is the kingdom,

And the power, and the glory,

Forever, Amen

When my mother passed away this past April, I sang this to her lifeless body minutes after she departed for heaven and also shared it at her memorial service.  My hope was that her friends and family could know of her own testimony and Christian faith and be touched by Christ's love in their own lives.  In my twenties, I was blessed to be able to sing My Tribute as a solo in my little church in Alaska.  To God Be the Glory!

Mother

I hope that you enjoyed reading and soaking in the lovely words, now, try listening to the way they sound in song with music and repeated verses.  It’s so very lovely and such a great praise song to God.  Here is a video clip you will enjoy of the song performed by an internationally known Norway soprano artist, Sissel Kyrkjebø and the Oslo gospel choir (a really nice jazzy version):   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NiB4SEgOkow.

May the Lord bless and keep you.  May he shine his light upon you and be gracious unto thee. 

(Three generations of praying hands: grandma, mom, my sister, me)

Jeannette

Safe and Secure in a Special Space

Daydreaming and praying while envisioning each prayer request and thought are very similar.  Yet, praying in that manner is so much more fulfilling, because there becomes a two way dialogue, with the Holy Spirit communicating in my heart while I communicate with my prayer thoughts.  This occurred this afternoon.   I was trying to take a nap to catch up on some snooze time.  My way of relaxing and meditating is to do imagining (visualizing) exercises and to pray as well.

Today's focus in my meditating - calming - relaxing - praying phase was to imagine myself being in a bed type bubble that had filtered air.  I'm sure my CPAP machine for my sleep apnea must have something to do with this part of the daydream or thought.  So, the bubble first looked like an oval, almost like a pill capsule type shape.  Then I started thinking about it and praying and talking to God about the shape being more like the interior portion of a large canopy bed.  I imagined a tall dome type French style canopy bed with a gentle bell shape curve coming from the four posts and connecting in the center with a decorative finial topping the connection.  The bed material could be brass or even better, richly upholstered tufted in deep plum or raspberry velvet, so that it would be a delightful tactile experience to engulf me in comfort while able to breathe easy, enclosed in a healthy bubble.  This special rectangular bed bubble would also be wrapped with high density opalescent Plexiglas.  It would have all the safety and comfort features built in, such as private water sealed entrance/exit with push button ease, alarm sensor for optimal privacy, surround sound music system, automatic temperature control, and any feature a woman needing pampering can imagine for excellent sleeping health.

Ah, I'm starting to feel a little more relaxed just thinking about this again.

So, where does the praying tie in to all of this?  Can you really daydream about a bed and call it a prayer?  Give me a break!  Right?  

Well, let me explain that my time with the Lord in meditation, thought and prayer wasn't just about an air bubble bed.  The purpose of the prayer and reaching out to God was precipitated by being upset, tired, distressed, and in great need to feel safe, protected, and just able to get some good sleep.  You see, I haven't been sleeping well lately.  Not that this is anything new, I have a history of not sleeping well many days of the week.  However, when I am emotionally upset over something and can't let it go enough to get that deep relaxation and REM sleep, then, my sleep becomes impaired and I start trying to wind down, deep breath, imagine being in an environment that is peaceful (usually imagine a waterfall and outdoors - tropical forest or mountains).  So, today, I was laying in bed under my cutesy pink shabby chic ruffled sheets and fluffy comforter in its pink shabby chic rouched duvet cover getting all comfy, feet propped up just so, sleep mask on, ear plugs in to block sound, CPAP mask on and breathing good air.  Ah, let the relaxation and eventual sleep begin .....  However, it usually takes me quite awhile to fall asleep during the daytime.

Okay, the other part of the prayer involves me feeling protected and feeling safe from any harm.  Whoa you say where did that come from?!  Well, I’m just like everyone else, my life is not pain free or perfect, so I try to use coping skills to make it better for myself, to recenter my world, to bring happiness and well being back.

So, I started thinking about what type of armor I would need to have on my body to prevent something from hurting me, weighing me down, causing me to feel depressed, unmotivated, just basically not feeling like the great person that I actually am (at least that is what so many people tell me!).  Then I started thinking about how God has made so many different types of animals and insects with built in protective armor of varying degrees, which keep them safe.  Some of them I thought of are: (1) porcupine, (2) turtle, (3) armadillo, (4) rolly polly bug, (5) crab, and other types with shell type skins that are hard to the touch.  I have no idea where I got these ideas, but I was just praying about my emotional safety and security and asking for the Lord to cover me with his love and his protection (like pouring warm honey all over your body that brings instant nurturing feeling and comfort).  

So - "SAFE AND SECURE IN A SPECIAL SPACE" - is the topic focus.

The first special space to feel safe and secure was the air bubble bed.  Ahhhh, sleeping like a pampered lady.

The second special space I mentioned was one's body, using the examples of animal’s or insect’s bodies with armor defenses.

The third one was in God's care, feeling his care, love, and presence.  This can occur in so many different ways to each individual person.  I gave one strange example of a feeling of having warm honey being poured all over your body - it’s just a sensation to feel warmed.  A better example would be to have a great quilt or soft comforter wrapped all around you with just enough tightness to feel as if someone is hugging you with love and at the same time guarding and protecting you.  

For me, the Lord God allows the Holy Spirit to bring comfort and a sense of fulfillment and an "everything is going to be okay now” feeling.  I most often get little butterfly type feelings in my stomach (not nervousness) but sort of like confirmation type feelings that let me know it's okay, and that I'm not alone in whatever it is that I'm going through in my life.  God is in my space, and he has gently lifted me into his special space and allowed me to hang out with him until I'm feeling better.  

PRAYER - yes, this is where prayer comes in.  The bible talks about "ask and you shall receive".  You see, God already knows what we need before we even ask for it.  Yet, I think the act of asking does all kinds of things for us (recognition, accountability, the act of verbalizing/thought processing the request).

So, what's the purpose in this specific blog topic?  One is that I wanted to let the readers know that God is a safe and secure person to be around and connect with.  Two is that praying doesn't have to be a formal type "Dear God, thank you for our food ....”  It can flow out of you like a conversation you would have with your best friend, or with your beloved grandmother who you trust immensely.  Or, praying with meditating, daydreaming, visualizing, as I wrote about.  It's very awesome to just be yourself and pray like you speak, that way your heart can be open and your mind can be cleared of troubles, requests and praises.

Reader friend, thank you in advance for being interested in the subject and taking the time to read the entire post.  I look forward to your comments and to responding to your messages.

May our God bless your day, your week, and your life!

Jeannette