JEANNETTE’S JOY

REVISED February 2, 2014

Forgiving is so full of varied emotions for me personally. It doesn’t just entail thinking of what someone has done or said to me, it involves principles, values, integrity, personhood, safety, respect, on and on. One of the first things that comes to mind is that of why in the first place am I in a place of choosing to forgive someone or some entity of something, after all, don’t civil people and businesses treat others in a manner that is civil and respectful and lawful and humane and in a way they would want their grandmother treated or the way they would want themselves treated (that is if they value themselves and want the best for themselves)? Heck yes is my answer!

But sadly, so many people and entities fall very far away from the statistical line of equal positive value to equal positive value when it comes to fair and equal treatment. We no longer have integrity by our “word” of promise, or “handshake” deal/contract or simple statement of promise. And written contracts – the loopholes folks find to void them – amazing!

So, back to the issue of forgiveness and my reason for stopping to pause and philosophy a bit first. Yes, I used to be naïve, thinking everyone must be nice and trustworthy people. Wrong! That childhood notion was eliminated at a young age, yet I still clung to it in early adulthood holding on to my fairytale hope in a utopian made up society of wonderful people.

Forgiving someone is really or can be really complicated. I’ve known some people who have found ways to forgive more easily and more quickly than others and have known others who have held on to a hurt or something or someone who hand “wronged” them and probably took it to their grave. What I’ve learned however; is that there must be a middle ground to the issue of forgiveness, at the very least, in order to provide a sense of sanity for oneself, so that the hurt does not cause caustic illness in one’s body and psyche.

So, back to the treating others the way you want to be treated. Because I am a Christian believer, and have centered my life on this faith since I was a very young child, I have strong beliefs based on the Bible. The Christian Bible says to treat others the way that you want to treated, which many people refer to as "The Golden Rule", as stated in scripture found in Luke 6:31. This is such a great philosophy that we can embrace. "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." Simply, if you want to be treated nicely, do the same to others. If you want to be treated like a jerk, do the same to others.

To make a point to others who may share a different faith, or those like some of my children who research other religions, I want to point out that this simple phrase is echoed in many religious beliefs, a universal philosophy of integrity. In doing some research of my own, I found the following:

Christianity
All things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye so to them; for this is the law and the prophets.
Matthew 7:13

Confucianism
Do not do to others what you would not like yourself. Then there will be no resentment against you, either in the family or in the state.
Analects 12:2

Buddhism
Hurt not others in ways that you yourself would find hurtful.
Udana-Varga 5,1

Hinduism
This is the sum of duty; do naught onto others what you would not have them do unto you.
Mahabharata 5,1517

Islam
No one of you is a believer until he desires for his brother that which he desires for himself.

Sunnah Judaism
What is hateful to you, do not do to your fellowman. This is the entire Law; all the rest is commentary.
Talmud, Shabbat 3id

Taoism
Regard your neighbor’s gain as your gain, and your neighbor’s loss as your own loss.
Tai Shang Kan Yin P’ien

Zoroastrianism
That nature alone is good which refrains from doing another whatsoever is not good for itself.

Dadisten-I-dinik, 94,5

Adapted from "The Christopher Newsletter"

However, I've said to myself, 'Is it really worth trying to treat others the same way I would prefer to be treated?', i.e. with kindness, compassion, patience, love, respect, not rudeness or anything unbecoming of the Christ-like nature that our Lord expects of me. Christ spells it out pretty clearly in the Apostle Paul's letter to the Corinthians when he describes what LOVE (Charity) is:

¹ If I speak in the tongues^[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.

² If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.

³ If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,^[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing.

⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

⁸ Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

⁹ For we know in part and we prophesy in part,

¹⁰ but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears.

¹¹ When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.

¹² For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

¹³ And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Well, then I take it a step further and ask myself, ‘So what if I forgive and it doesn't necessarily result in a positive outcome?’ I can try to treat others with the Charity (or Love) that it speaks about (above) in scripture, and be respectful, and try not to waiver from the kindness that I would like to be given back in return. But hey, what if I get taken advantage of by someone, mistreated, robbed, whatever? Well, I can only do my best, and I can only defend myself under the law the best that I can. In all the ways that I act, I must act in a way that honors God. I make the choices that God guides me to make, and take action to move forward.

I've learned that it is emotionally healthier and spiritually more fulfilling if I "let it go". I leave it up to our Lord to smooth over and heal whatever issues I have within myself - and allow him to work within the other person's heart to change or apologize. Too many tears or even anger has robbed me of the JOY God gives in trusting him in all things.

Of course I am not a perfect human being. However, through God's grace and patience I try very hard to "let go" of comments and actions that hurt or offend me. When I allow God to take care of my heart as well as take care of others hearts, I do not take the burden on and let it manifest to a deepness that is rotten. I remember that God is the ultimate judge and harboring any feelings of ill will toward a person or entity hurts me more than the offender.

Here are two scriptures on JUDGING to make the point we all make mistakes at some point. I believe, once we do, it’s in our response to the mistake, or sin, in how the outcome will affect the other person and will affect us.:

Luke 6:41 "Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?

John 8:7 But when they persisted in asking Him, He straightened up, and said to them, "He who is without sin among you, let him be the first to throw a stone at her."

MY POINT: If we have done something that has caused some type of physical, emotional, or financial harm to someone, something or some entity, aren’t we responsible for our actions? We are! We have an obligation to make amends in some manner and show an act and behavior of remorse. Speak to the person, pay back the financial harm, help them with the physical harm, help them or provide help for them in the emotional, physical, financial or whatever way you’ve caused a problem! It’s not that difficult. By doing so, then you have solved the issue in making it an issue whether a person even needs to decide whether an apolgy is worth being made or if it even needs to be let go. THE ISSUE IS MUTE, BECAUSE THERE NEVER WOULD HAVE BEEN AN ISSUE TO CARRY FORWARD IF PROPERLY HANDLED IN THE FIRST PLACE.

PEOPLE, WE MUST BE MATURE AND TAKE RESPONSIBLE FOR OUR ACTIONS. AND WE MUST TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR OURSELVES AS WELL.

So back to the original question on forgiving. Is it worth it to try to "let go"? YES. It is well worth it? Yes, because letting go let's God step in. "Let go and Let God" is an appropriate phrase. Why not let go? What do we have to lose? NOTHING. We only gain a sense of well being, (that only our Lord and Savior can provide). If you have no religious belief, just think of it this way, when you release the harboring feelings of unforgiveness, you release the tension and you rid yourself of the thoughts taking up space in your memory popping up every now and then reminding you of something unpleasant in your life. Let it go. Release it and be done with one less burden. It's really well worth it.

It doesn’t change the circumstance oftentimes, but it can release it from your shoulders as you lay it at Jesus’ feet and let him take the burden from you. Try not to lift it back up and carry it around again. Let him work it out. Let him work it out in the other person’s heart or in the entity’s business, whatever.

When it is appropriate for you to talk to the person or address it to the entity, if you haven’t already done so, then God will provide an avenue and prompt you in his own way to let you know when the time is right. If he wants it left unsaid, then you will know that as well. I can tell you that harboring the unforgiveness and giving it time in your life is a waste of minutes and emotions.

Remember this: "I Can Do All Things Through Christ Who Strengthens Me" Philippians 4:13. AMEN!

The saying "Today is the first day of the rest of your life" is quaint and is meant to be inspiring and motivational. I have often grabbed that phrase and said to self, "Self, let's make today a new day. Start fresh, start new, it's a new beginning."

Starting a blog is a new beginning for this 55 year old grandmother. Yes, I should say that I've been in the 20th century and am technically savy enough to have started one prior today. But hey, I haven't joined the newest technical craze. Business wise I had considered it for my prior business attempt "DJ's Virtual Management", but that was short lived and did not pursue blogging after the big web launch. So here we are.

This blog, like many others, will be progressive, as in a "work in progress" or step by step progression into what I hope will be something interesting for family and friends. My niece, Moria Rhu, has inspired me to start a blog, merely by just viewing her "Our Irish Manor" blog and enjoying her postings of their new home. My son, John, has also started a blog, with insightful thoughts and poems, a wonderful way that I'm getting to know another aspect of his personality.

The movie "Julie and Julia" was so much fun to watch and I so enjoyed Julie's blog idea. If you haven't seen the movie, rent it! The story of Julia Child, and seeing France and French things, were a delight to me at least!

Here I go (and here we go ...) with upcoming thoughts, quotes, ideas, recipes, news, and photos - - - joyful beginnings.

BLESSINGS TO YOU ALL!

JEANNETTE

Friday, March 11, 2011

NO MORE OBESITY! Life changes for me must come soon ...

Monday, February 14, 2011

FORGIVING - Is It Worth Trying To "LET GO"

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

My Indearing Grandma Grace

Monday, January 31, 2011

Bless the Broken Road

Saturday, January 29, 2011

TURN, TURN, TURN - A Time for Everything

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

ATTITUDE

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Joyful Beginning - for Jeannette's Joy